Choosing the right lawyer.
Theoretically we can do our own tax returns but most of us choose to use an accountant when dealing with the ATO. We can also theoretically do our own divorces, but again there are significant benefits to using a Family Lawyer. These might include:
1. Having someone who can competently explain and guide you through the many options that are available when separating your assets or working out care arrangements for your children, including collaborative law, mediation or litigation;
2. Having someone on your side who can assist you to be logical and commercial when you are feeling hurt or overwhelmed or angry;
3. Having someone who can reality test you and help you understand your entitlements and obligations under the Family Law Act;
4. Having someone on your side who is specialised in how to separate with dignity and grace and who can help you navigate through the complexities of the legal system.
Finding the right family lawyer for your particular circumstances is an important undertaking. Not all lawyers are the same and not all people going through a separation are looking for the same characteristics in their lawyer.
At the point of separation your Family Lawyer will be one of your most important advisors in the decisions that you will need to make about how to navigate efficiently and effectively through the Family Law process. How successfully you navigate through this process, with the best possible outcomes, for your and/or your children, will be dictated in large part by finding the right lawyer.
So, what do you need to look for when choosing the right lawyer for you?
1. A connection with your lawyer is obviously more important in family law matters than it might be with the lawyer who manages your conveyance or drafts the documents necessary for establishing your new business. Connection can be measured by answering some of the following questions:
a. Do you feel that your lawyer listens to what you are saying, and do you feel heard?
b. Family law often involves sharing intimate information about your self and the relationship you are ending. Do you feel comfortable having the difficult conversations that you inevitably will have to have with your family lawyer?
c. Does your lawyer understand what it is that worries you the most, what is keeping you up at night?
2. Family lawyers need to provide you with legal advice and at times they may need to challenge or reality test you in relation to your expectations of what you might receive from a property settlement, your preference for care arrangements for the children, or what money you think your former partner should pay you by way of spousal maintenance.
It is essential that you have the sort of relationship with your family lawyer that allows space for the more difficult conversations to occur. Difficult conversations are most effective when you trust that your family lawyer is working for you and is on your side but that they will not permit you to act in a way that is ultimately not in your best interests.
3. Your ability to trust your lawyer is made easier if they have the experience and the knowledge that are needed to provide the best advise possible. You might consider some of the following:
a. How long they practiced in family law;
b. What additional training have they completed above and beyond their law degree?
For example, are they an accredited family law specialist or a parenting co-ordinator or a mediator? Are they collaboratively trained?
c. Do they have experience dealing with the issues that are likely to arise in your case?
So, for example if you have complex property structures you might want to explore whether your lawyer has experience with family trusts or business structures involving companies and trusts and third party interests.
If there are complicated parenting issues including surrogacy and allegations of abuse, is this an area that your lawyer is competent in dealing with?;
d. Do they have the capacity to approach your family law matter in the way that you want or need to approach it?
Sometimes a lawyer needs to assist a party in getting out of a difficult relationship where safety is a central issue. In these circumstances you need a lawyer who can act decisively and protectively.
Sometimes you need a lawyer who can calm things down and ensure that agreement is reached in a collaborative way with minimal distress and aggression. Does your lawyer have the capacity to approach your particular case in the way that you need them to?
Social media and online presence is a good way to get a sense of your lawyer, but it is only a start. First meetings are in all respects the best place to work out if the fit is right. Sometimes it’s just a feeling, but sometimes it is about asking the right questions. Be prepared at your first meeting with your lawyer and think about the questions you need to ask to know if they are the right person to help you get through this most challenging time in your life.